It’s the age of social media and no one is immune to the influence and impact that it has on our lives. With the emergence of the pandemic, and the quarantine that followed, social media became a lifeline for many to feel connected to the outside world. Unfortunately, it also became a way to feel important and desirable; not always for the right reasons. For some, it was the first time they “felt seen” and popular, which provided a sense of value. That desire, to feel valued, has driven many (kids, teens and adults alike) to alter everything about themselves in order to be accepted and gain others’ approval.
This is especially true for kids and teens who have never known life without followers, influencers, likes, shares and “going viral.” Their entire lives are lived publicly through the lens of how others will view and respond to them. Their identity is tied to how many “friends” they have and how many of those friends validate them through likes and shares. This often leads them to spend more and more time online, following and imitating others who have the “dream lives” they desire for themselves. They stop living “real life” and instead devote most of their time to their online personality, which may resemble nothing of who they actually are at home.
Why is all of this important? Because, research has shown that extreme use of technology can disrupt normal patterns of mood and socialization, especially in children and adolescents. Technology addiction is defined as: frequent and obsessive technology-related behavior, increasingly practiced despite negative consequences to the user of the technology. Technology, particularly social media addiction, can be socially devastating. A dependence on social media applications can significantly impact the developmental brain and behaviors of the user. Because children and teens are still developing, this addictive behavior can seriously disrupt their healthy learning and growth processes. As adults, this can negatively impact our ability to have healthy relationships and expectations of ourselves and others.
Additionally, there is also evidence that people who overuse technology may develop similar brain chemistry and neural patterning to those who are addicted to substances (such as drugs and alcohol). Social Media “likes”, “shares” and incentives activate the same neural pathways and transmitters involved in drug use. So many kids and teens have fallen victim to the social media trap, which has contributed to low self esteem, people pleasing, poor boundaries, increased risky behavior and sometimes suicidal thoughts and attempts. Social media addiction can lead to severe consequences that range from mild annoyance when away from the social media platform to mental health conditions such as isolation, anxiety disorders and depression. This is why observing your child’s social media use and behaviors are so important. Being able to recognize when casual engagement has shifted to full blown addiction, can help you to intervene appropriately.
As we go forward, the impact and reach of social media will only grow as our society becomes more intertwined with technology. This puts kids and teens at higher risk of struggling with how to keep a healthy perspective on it. Preventing social media addiction means creating a more harmonious balance within your loved ones’ life, so that they do not misuse or abuse technology as an escape from real world challenges, situations, identity, emotions, and socialization.
So, how can you help you and your kid(s) and even yourself, to create healthy relationships with technology?
Here are a few tips to get you started:
Provide plenty of healthy self-esteem boosters, some of them offline. How kids/teens use technology matters immensely. Is your loved one using social media among other recreational activities, and are they as excited about an activity with friends as they are about "getting likes on a post/photo”? Or, are they consistently scrolling through social media applications so they don't have to face a life that they're having a difficult time with? Make sure there are healthy alternatives offline (sports, art, music, youth groups, etc.) to support positive social engagement, communication and coping skills development.
Encourage prosocial identity development in the real world. Once teenagers find something they are good at and want to do, they will naturally gravitate toward it. It is easier to create an Internet mask or fake persona, but much more rewarding for adolescents to cultivate true purposes and genuine identities within their families, schools, and communities. Help them see that who they are in real life (IRL) is just as valuable and important.
Balance activities & productivity with healthy stress management. Oftentimes, adolescents feel like they have too little energy to spread across too many demands. If teenagers are not guided by adults in discovering healthy ways to replenish their stores of energy, they may default by overusing easy fixes for entertainment or stress relief that promote social media addiction. Encourage positive real-world activities like journaling, reading books. exercise, sports, cooking, crafts, etc.
Consider a social media vacation or total abstinence: Treatment for social media addiction starts by removing the person completely from both the Internet (non-inclusive of academic or educational/professional usage) and the surroundings that allowed a social media addiction to occur in the first place. Set time limits for social media and possibly “black out” times to allow for needed mental breaks. Taking breaks can create the separation needed to begin enjoying “real life” activities and people.
If you or someone you love is struggling with social media addiction, reach out for help and support. Get connected to a counselor in your area and feel free to reach out to us here at HDCFC. We serve all of California via telehealth and take several major insurances.
